Steve 'crumb czar' Roggenbuck's checklist before disfriending someone on Facebook.


  • Is this person currently making a revolving donation.
  • Has this person donated money in the past.
  • Could this person donate money in the future.
  • Did this person fail to donate money after a verbal commitment.
  • Does this person have influential/wealthy friends.
  • Does this person have influential/wealthy parents.
  • Does this person have a beneficial skill set which can be leveraged currently/in the future.
  • Will this person cause drama over disfriending and detract from my precious brand.
  • Does this person have 'material wealth' that can be leveraged.
  • Does this person hold a high position of power in a corporation.
  • Is this person vegan.
  • Is this person straight edge.
  • Is this person involved in a large charity.
  • Is this person a sycophant.
  • Is this person associated with a media outlet, publisher or popular lit journal.
  • Is this person an author, musician, artist or politician.
  • Is this person subjectively comely.
  • Do they like me?

4 responses to

  1. sam pink says:

    the smaller the crumb the easier they get stuck between the floorboards and disappear

  2. is this via a Scientific method??? :)

  3. the mental guy in my town who cleans the weeds out of the sidewalks with his pocketknife and says, "somebody better pay me" when i go by has more credibility than grieco ever will

  4. jereme says:

    crumbs! crumbs! crumbs!

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