SHIT JAM

Just invented a game where two people name off all the fucked things they've endured during their existence. 

Each event is measured by an arbitrary value system: like, gang rape +5 (+7 if all the men were black)/extreme childhood neglect +4/clubbed foot +2/cop rock witness +14/etc. 

Each player's goal is to trump the other player by collecting trauma points until both players exhaust all previous fucked events from their 'hand.'  The points are tallied, an age modifier applied (an older player has more opportunity for traumatic life experience) and a winner is declared.

If at the end of the tally players share the same score, a 'tie breaker' round is activated which consists of each player calling a parent and engaging in ambiguous conversation of little to no merit while counting the random insults directed towards the player.  The player with the highest number of unsolicited insults wins.  If a player has no parents, they immediately lose.

If during the tie breaker round both players are 'parentless,' then a 'super tie breaker' round is activated.  Each player's previous sex partner's facebook is brought up.  The partner portraying the most pathetic qualities wins the super tie breaker round for their prospective player.

Then the winner feels some sort of meaningless achievement while the loser contemplates why they aren't a worthwhile human being.

Hit me up if you want to play.