11 responses to

  1. Raye says:

    Those paws! It reminds me of when I see a chubby baby or something and I have this almost overwhelming feeling of, like, "I want to bite that."

  2. jereme says:

    this morning i opened my back door to find kenny, jr. relaxing on the concrete, an hour later, i opened the door again and saw a small blood pool and kenny jr. doing some sort of vlad the impaler imitation on a squirrel neck.

    dude is ridiculous with that shit.

  3. Raye says:

    There's this cat that lives in my house, I don't…I wouldn't really consider him MY cat because…I don't really like him, but one day I woke up and there was a kitten living under my bed, and I feel like, if you wake up one day and there's a kitten living under your bed, the only obvious choice is to let it live with you. He has, like, a super bad attitude, but my dog fell in love with him to such a degree that, if he's not in at night, the dog will like cry and bark and run around the yard trying to "summon" him. But so, the cat is really fucked up looking, it's like orange and has busted teeth that hang out of his mouth and a permanently bruised eye, his name is Fagin, and I would conservatively say he's a "killing machine." He's not very large, but he takes down birds that are like 3/4s or more his size, regularly, like giant mutant pigeons and then the dog will steal the giant pigeons and I'll just be like reading in my bed or something and the dog will jump up with a comically oversized rigor mortised glassy eyed pigeon covered in dried blood, sometimes with it's head "hanging on by a thread" in his mouth with the happiest expression ever on his face like, "Look at this fucking awesome thing I stole from the riff raff cat," and I don't want to be, like an asshole, and like, yell at him like, "Get the fuck out of here with this shit," bc he doesn't know it's totally gross and horrifying…it's really an emotional roller coaster, let me tell you.

  4. jereme says:

    damn, that cat is my spirit animal.

    kenny, jr. was homeless in hollywood when i found him. i think he had been killing to eat for a while.

    since moving to the suburbs though he's been out of control.

    our neighbor has this weird fantasy where they think there tiny backyard is a farm. they have a hen house and running water. i'm not sure what else. i can't see back there, just hear it.

    the animals back there invite a lot of mice and lizards, i guess. so, when we moved here, kenny, jr. started killing off the mice and lizards. pretty sure they're all dead now.

    then he moved on to the birds who come to our backyard to eat the left overs from the dogs. he's killed so many birds that they don't come here anymore.

    then he killed a rat 3/4 the size of him and a day later, it's babies.

    now he's offing the squirrels. this is the 4th one that i know of.

    i'm kind of scared that after everything is dead he's going to turn on me.

    but at least it'll be a good death.

  5. Raye says:

    A History of Violence


  6. jereme says:


    gotta love the 21st century.

    can't wait for this dude to become a grandfather.

  7. Raye says:

    "On the 911 call, Palmer tells the dispatcher he kicked the cat “in the rear” to protect his child. Palmer says the animal then “just went off over the edge” – leading Palmer and his girlfriend to barricade themselves, their baby and the family dog in the bedroom for safety.

    The cat can be heard screeching in the background of the call as Palmer says in a panicked voice: “He’s charging us. He’s at our bedroom door.” Palmer also tells the dispatcher the cat has been violent in the past."

    Someone I respect texted me a picture of her and a bunch of her girlfriends in Mardi Gras beads at a bar with a fog machine and the caption, "Bachelorette paradise." I, like, almost started crying.

  8. jereme says:

    lol. please ask her to text you the 'wonders' of the jukebox selection.

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