People who compromise their self-respect/safety for the sake of an ego-serving, insignificant victory, like agreeing to sleep in the bed of a drug-fueled man who openly states his desire to fuck in exchange for a place to crash because visiting a large metropolitan city and socializing is, omg, such a wild dream of theirs, then exploiting the situation by writing a fictionalized story of the encounter to a) shift responsibility from themselves to mitigate the lingering feelings of inadequacy b) garner attention.

17 responses to

  1. i wouldnt get along with any of these people. I just know when a person start claiming what they are (male feminist) expect the opposite. dont get the whole "i did what it took to make him get off quicker" thing. i will never get that response.

  2. jereme says:

    seems unreal for a man to think of himself as a 'male feminist.'

    like, you can be for women and not lose your fucking gender.

  3. i just read a thing about roggenbuck being a sexist swine so i may join them and become a male fem.

  4. jereme says:

    haha. did i write that.

  5. you're a victim blamer. now they are after tao lin. he is now a rapist. i see it all over twitter. it must be true.

    here's a good one:

    "I can only muse that HTMLGIANT's long history of misogyny stems from B Butler's inability to get it up/keep it up."

  6. jereme says:

    haha.

    i like how those types never acknowledge all the horrible shitty moms that attribute to 'misogyny.' gotta be dick related.

  7. Yeah. This quote is from a feminist. I figured they were pro dick-malfunction, stupid me

  8. Raye says:

    Like, it's really not my style to comment on something like this, but I have strong feelings about it. I didn't know anything about any of this, the "alt lit" scene isn't my thing, but this story is just an illustration of like, a fucking hysteria going on at this moment in the culture.

    I want to start out by saying that, I like many things about you, your views on women not chief among them, and I bring this up for the sake of objectivity. That said, while I find much of what you say about women publicly....unbecoming, dealing with you in a personal capacity, I think you're, EXTREMELY kind and respectful. Like, you've never once been condescending or "misogynistic" or any such thing in my dealings with you. I think you're, really, a rather unbelievably thoughtful human being. I chose to address this publicly because, in the context of a lot things you say, I think it's somewhat easy to dismiss what you're saying as the rantings of a hateful anti-feminist, when in reality, it's completely legitimate.

    About a year ago, this woman Emily Yoffe wrote in a Slate advice column that a great way to avoid rape is to not get fucking blotto at a party full of strangers. People went fucking ape shit saying she was "victim blaming." Everyone said, women should be able to get as drunk as they want, the answer isn't for women to modify their behavior, it's for dudes not to rape. That's absolutely right, and in a perfect world void of shit trash, sociopaths and mentally unstable predators, it would be applicable, but we don't live in that fucking world.

    You can't "fix" anyone else's behavior, you can't change the brain of a predator, but you sure as shit can change what you do.

    People want to use the "she was asking for it/short skirt" example as a parallel, but it's a false equivalency. Predators barring a serious mental deficiency, don't want to be caught, so they choose the path of least resistance. A short skirt doesn't make you more vulnerable to being preyed upon, but being incapacitated certainly does.

    People forget that two things can be true simultaneously. It's absolutely unacceptable to rape or coerce a woman into fucking you, AND there are many things you can do to avoid being victimized. It doesn't take culpability away from a rapist, or a REALLY creepy entitled lit bro who clearly has zero respect for himself and thereby others, any reasonable person is justly repulsed by this sort of behavior, it's just, for fuck's sake, think responsibly, and do your part to avoid these situations in the first place.

    Treating women like adults who are capable of personal agency over their own safety is different than "victim blaming."

    I think there's another take away here, and it's you know, don't act like a fucking asshole. Learn to communicate. Think twice about your next "casual" panting coked out "hook up" and think twice about promising another human you'd lasso the moon for them to get them into bed, then never speaking to them again, ne'er considering their feelings because, if you think you think what happened to STD couldn't happen to you, you're fucking out of your mind.

    tl;dr I agree, and think encouraging women to think about and take responsibility for their actions will ultimately make them much safer, and like, I'm sorry if I did anything to tarnish your reputation as like a woman hating shithead.

  9. jereme says:

    juicebox, everybody.

    yeah, i don't think you've tarnished my rep. doubtful anyone who thinks that of me will get past the header image and even make it to the words.

    i appreciate you defending me though. you're the third person to do that, ever.

    feel like i should buy you a gift card as a thank you or something. you like applebees, right?

  10. Raye says:

    Seems also sad/horrifying that someone can be a known shithead/terrible human being and consistently present themselves as such in print and in public, and no one cares literally at all until they are accused of rape. Like, that rape/physical violence is the only standard for personal accountability is like, a fucking tragedy, or something, and it'd be great to think that this might be a "teachable moment" for people to like respect themselves and be respectful, but it won't.

    #Applebees

  11. jereme says:

    Yeah, I concur. Stopped caring about that aspect a while ago though, when it became evident that the idea of respect was replaced by whatever the fuck message episodes of 'catdog' portrays.

  12. Raye says:

    I just feel passionately about the issue of "victim blaming" because it's like, the most irrational thing on earth, and people are prioritizing the desire to be PC over physical and emotional safety. I can't think of another instance where this sort of logic would be acceptable. When you get into a car you should wear a fucking seatbelt because even if you are a perfect driver impervious to error, you cannot control whether some asshole is drunk or high or texting or any other ridiculous activity that puts other people's lives at risk. No one says, "Don't bother wearing a seat belt because it's the other reckless behavior that needs to change." Is it your fault if you get plowed down by a drunk fuck looking at Facebook on your drive home? Absolutely not, that doesn't mean you shouldn't take precautions to avoid the worst possible outcome.

    That's all I have to say about it, and I don't usually get like "worked up" about things, it just makes me feel insane, like, I find it fucking stunning, and I TRULY cannot comprehend how, if you're a person who truly cares about other people, as opposed to, like, having the "correct" point of view, how you would not want to encourage people to exercise caution that could like, in the worst circumstances, legit save their fucking life.

  13. jereme says:

    i enjoy you being worked up.

    earlier today i was thinking of it within the terms of driving. and couldn't think of any other situation where being a dumb ass is preferred over taking responsibility for your actions and doing what's possible to not put yourself in danger.

    can say, without a doubt, women today should watch dukes of hazzard and take notes on daisy's conduct.

    shit, men too.

  14. Raye says:

    I just feel like thinking in moral/intellectual absolutes pretty much never leads to a good outcome. Like the idea that certain points of view are unimpeachable is troubling. If a person asks a question or makes a statement, even if it's inscendiary, at least there's some sort of engagement there. When you then tell them, "GO DIE MISOGYNIST RAPE APOLOGIST," they feel like they're not safe voicing their opinion in "regular life" so their true self retreats from other people but remains constant, and they develop like a mask of reaction formation which is how you wind up with male "feminists" who have zero concern for the physical and emotional well being of their "partners" and female "feminists" who are constantly repping female empowerment, but are the first to tear down women who don't fit their ideal of a good role model, and consistently fuck dudes who physically and emotionally abuse them

    OR

    These people's negative experiences with "feminists" invalidating views that may have, at one time been rational, make them more vulnerable to being indoctrinated by the lunatic fringe who makes them feel "accepted" and like fans the fires of their dumb rage by validating their most base and idiotic ideas and exploiting their worst fears.

    THEN those two outcomes cause the feminists' original assertion that everyone's a misogynist rape apologist to become a fucking self fulfilling prophecy. It's like, this insane cycle where each side feels more and more justified in an increasingly fanatical position.

    I mean, whatever, nevermind.

  15. jereme says:

    And I forget just why I taste. Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile.

    Currently watching dopey eat a giant carrot off of cha-ka's chest as he lays face up on the ground.

    This is me completely agreeing with you. Couldn't think of anything to further what was said because you said it really well. Which is odd, since, you know, women are supposed to be incapable of pragmatic thought.

    On a different note, I miss when television was a lighthouse against the insurmountable darkness of living.

    The days of magic are over.

  16. Raye says:

    I miss television before women ruined it like they ruined the breaking bad and the game times and the alternative literature movement for the children.

    I have to go to bed and get off the internet forever.

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