if you were a bird, i would free you from your pet store cage

my little friend molly gaudry is questioning her vocation over at her blog.

i feel her pain. i am capable of empathy at times.

she thinks money is going to help her.

i don't know if it will or not.

during my 32 year existence I have had big swings when it comes to money.

i grew up what would be considered lower to lower middle class depending on my age/location.

around age 16 i was homeless for weeks on end due to a dysfunctional family.

i have been to jail a couple times.

for some reason i was really good with computers. some of us are born with it holmes.

as a result i have made 120k in a year without really doing much physical work.

then came the drug addiction, the failed marriage, the house in foreclosure, the repossessed car, the depression and constant suicidal thoughts.

been on welfare a few times, even had to attend a month long class on "getting employed"

(i ended up liking the class because it was composed of all single young women plus me)

now i am back in the 6 figure range.

i am riding the high horse and to be honest it doesn't really matter.

molly's post made me think quite a bit about money and the elusive happiness.

money is money. i've been poor and won't lie. money feels good. waking up with money in your pocket creates a peacefulness.

knowing i can go to disneyland when i want feels good.

it shouldn't but it does.

all my favorite memories occurred regardless of the existence of money though.

it really wasn't a factor in my happiness.

the time i hit that transient lady in the head with an accidental throw of a rock, running straight through a wooden fence to escape a squad car (i was too big to jump over it and willed myself through), watching the stars as i slept homeless in a small man made fort in a public park, all the interesting people i've met traveling, fishing on the clackamas river, smoking a cigar in the portland rain, the countless smog created red sunsets, that feeling of being somewhere unfamiliar, the birth of my son, and i could go on and on.

money ain't shit. live life.

that's what i'm saying.