here is a super emo poem i wrote thinking about sam pink's writing:
sometimes when you leave i pretend i am a huge dragon with a scar over my breast and i fly out the window into the restless night looking for something to destroy until i realize there is nothing valuable to destroy with my dragon fire and perch myself on top of a mountain to watch the city lights sparkle in my moon cast shadow.
when you are looking at your painted nails i pretend to drug your food with a small handful of my hairs and wait excitedly while you eat your poisoned cereal where the hairs will sit at the bottom of your stomach and combine and grow into a large glass jar filled with wet flies until the pressure cracks open the jar spilling the flies into your stomach juice where they will dissolve into your consciousness and show up randomly at awkward times during your wet dreams and nightmares.
when you are in the shower i watch you from the doorway and pretend my soul is the shower water spilling warmly over your naked body and each droplet is my mouth and my hands and my dick trying to suffocate you with my wetness until you exit the shower and wipe me away with an old towel and drop it to the floor where i dissipate into the sun warmed carpet.
on occassion i forget to pretend and panic until my skin feels like it is going to explode off my bone and my mind begins to echo until it is collapsing and my throat closes so no scream or gasp can escape and i am fettered and trapped inside myself as my being implodes.
mostly when you are around i feel empty and pretend to be happy because i do not want you to stop smiling and when you aren't around i feel sick but i pretend i feel empty because emptiness does not frighten me.
regardless if you are here i pretend to not to pretend because it has been such length since i have felt comfortable within the confines of my own mind i do not remember how to be genuine any more.
i like to pretend because it is all i know.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
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8 comments:
i could tell you again, what i told you yesterday, but then it would just look asskissy or something, so i won't but i should've
Beautifully written, really, very very good.
Great description wrapped in a post.
My favorite part is "mostly when you are around i feel empty ....does not frighten me." cause it is so real (at least for me), and so sad in a way too. But you pretend to pretend cause keep being as you are used to is easier on the short run than untwisting the entrenched neural-paths in order for them to work as they should. But you wont untwist them cause you don't want to, so just keep going towards where you go.
the end of this is baddass. to tell you the truth i didnt even read that last sentence until i went back up to count the ones i enjoyed.
the begining is like a farther away more creepy less violent sam pink, but i dont feel the pink phrasing as much toward the end.
I enjoy the first one and the second and third to last the most. they connect with me emotionally the most. the third to last is a very strong hit.
xtx,
you are such a ball squeezing sycophant. geez.
mariana,
yeah the brain is easy right? it's the abstractions that kill me.
martin,
thank you martin. i feel you are being honest and it is much appreciated.
i am trying to email you jereme. i cannot seem to figure out a way.
hating on those sycophants these days, huh? I too am guilty, maybe not this time. I was honest while being guilty though.
this is really really good.
"trying to suffocate you with my wetness" kills me.
martin,
my email is jdean33442@gmail.com. i don't hate on the sycophants, but i do value honesty over being nice. i am not a fan of "nice".
kristen,
i will harvest your soul last.
This was great.
I pretend because it's better that way.
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