my weekend in terms of negative/positive emotional responses:
friday: a very pretty asian girl greeted me with "i love your glasses" as i exited the bus.
saturday: a different asian girl told me she liked my glasses at the mall.
sunday: harassed by NO on Prop 8 picket girl. She said something about my glasses being sexy or me being sexy. I don't really remember. I don't take compliments well and kind of black out when i get them.
so that was the positive emotional experiences.
there was only one negative and it was the first to start the weekend off.
i was riding the bus from work on my way to cash my check near my house when a girl got on the bus. the girl had jet black hair and very pale skin and she sat down directly across from me. she was pretty i think. it is hard to gauge pretty i guess. she was pretty to me.
i took note of her eyelashes outlined against the sun shining through the window behind her. the eyelashes looked really long. i thought "girls love those long lashes. i wonder if they are fake or real?"
so i guess i thought about that for the entire bus ride which was only about 5 minutes. we both got off at tustin and chapman stop, she in front of me.
the check cashing place was over in a mexican neighborhood. it is not the nicest neighborhood but nothing bad really. some drug deals, rowdy kids, quiet illegals. nothing big. i guess you could consider it "bad" in terms of orange county.
we both cut through the back parking lot of a non-descriptive dentist building, orange as a city is rife with these small brown buildings adorned with white generic signs promising different simple slogans.
the pretty girl turned around, gave me the "don[t rape me smile", looked at her feet the entire time, and scurried in the opposite direction like she had just made some grave error and needed to be back immediately.
i thought it was kind of weird. i walked for a few minutes, turned around, witnessed the girl in tow, thought "am i really that fucking scary looking?"
one event compared to three and the one event is what affected me the most. the girl thought i was going to rape her or kidnap her or something.
what the fuck.. i mean i know i am kind of scary or odd looking. i have gotten it since childhood, people giving me double-takes.
i am wearing bright neon-pink sunglasses i bought at "forever 21" or some other horrible estrogen rich playground for young women.
do i really look like i am going to rape some one? really?
i never found out if her eyelashes were real or fake. i kind of felt stupid for most of my relationship with her and never got the guts to ask a harmless question.
4 comments:
you look more lumberjacky than rapey.
but at least you got it goin' on with those pussy magnet glasses.
some girls can't handle men
Lumberjacky. Ha.
If I take your question seriously I'm vaguely surprised you're not seeing it more from her perspective. You're alone, walking behind some building, not the safest hood. You could look like anyone and it could still be intimidating. I mean, I think she overreacted and the walking behind you thing was silly (like you couldn't just turn around and rape her from the front?) But I guess what I'm saying is that it probably most likely had nothing to do with the way you - specifically you - look.
Also, looking like you could rape me is a plus in my estimation but that's just me.
I'm with Ani. I've had some bad things happen to me from guys in suits - it wasn't the way you look. Isolated areas suck.
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